banging on about feminism

Apparently I would be a beautiful, desirable and loveable woman if I didn’t bang on about feminist stuff. Well as someone said and put on a t-shirt, ‘I’ll be a post feminist in a post patrairchy’.

Eve Ensler said – ”I am over the passivity of good men. Where the h– are you?

You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?”

This is what I am asking right now, where are you?!

On a beautiful post The Good Guys

Miss Edee says in reply to this;

“I understand what she (Eve Ensler) means by this. She’s asking that more men stand up more often on behalf of women. Here’s the thing, though. I know quite a few really amazing men. In fact, there are men I consider to be nice guys, and there is a tiny handful of men in my own life I consider to be “The Good Guys”….. They are highly intelligent, kind, compassionate men who care very deeply about the women in their lives and they care about making the world a better place for not only their wives, sisters, daughters, and nieces, but for all women. These men most definitely are outraged and driven to the brink of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of women. And I can assure you: they are anything but passive.

My most fervent prayer is that every woman has at least one, if not several, men of this caliber in her life. These men, and others like them, do more than support women. Through their actions they teach boys and young men how treat women respectfully, and they set the bar almost impossibly high as far as girls’ expectations in future partners. In a room of one hundred women, the only woman one of these men would ever notice is his wife.”

This is my fervent prayer too, not just for myself but as Miss Edee says for ‘every woman’.

I am a woman too – Ben Lee “It’s here, it’s clear this world can be unfair, there’s always someone being kept down, it’s true, it’s true, cos I’m a woman too, try to shut me up and I’m going to get load, So hear me roar, I will not be ignored.”

Have I suffered sexual abuse from men? Yes. Have I suffered violence at the hands of men? Yes. Have I suffered emotional abuse and oppression from men? Yes. Have I suffered sexism in and out of relationships with men? Yes. Have I been treated as a lesser being by men who state with their words and actions that my opinions, my rights, my sexuality, my body and integrity don’t matter? Yes

I will not suffer silently anymore; I will not allow men who don’t respect me and women in all ways into my life. I will not be in a relationship with a man unless he supports me, honours and respects me, and allows me dignity and integrity in our relationship.

Little bird – Kasey chambers “If I keep my opinion under my breath and I only bring it out when the master says… if I shut my mouth and I don’t make a scene you might come back, but I don’t want you that bad”

I know the man who said this to me in real life, he is following my blog and says he agrees with what on porn culture and wanted to enter into a relationship with me. But in reality he gives no support in his words and actions. He agrees sexually explicit material should not be allowed in the workplace because it is not right or fair to the female employees, but when it comes into his own home in front of the woman he apparently loves and cares about he defends it. No he doesn’t watch porn or have men’s mag’s in his house or life, but soft porn, sexualisation and degrading and humiliating images of women are no longer only in the confines of porn DVD’s and mag’s.

He told me he turned off a DVD is daughters friend brought over called ‘the Serbian’ about a pornographer because he didn’t want to have to look at other men’s privates. Imagine if he was confronted with these images of men daily in and out of his home like women are confronted with these images of other women constantly. I think he would be speaking up too and calling for change in and out of his relationships.

He says I bang on about feminism all the time. And yes, when an issue, situation or imagery arises you bet your bottom dollar I will speak up, other than that I have plenty of other things that fill my heart, mind, soul, life and vocabulary. He says you don’t hear him banging on about not believing in climate change, but you can bet your other bottom dollar that when an issue, situation or imagery arises on this subject he will become very vocal. So I am supposed to be silent like a good little girl but he can have his opinions and try and invoke change.

And if the things I am, or anybody, is speaking up about are causing pain to people, especially those you love, don’t you take positive action or give positive support so that happiness and healing can prevail?

At the end of the day feminism is simple, it’s about respect.

3 thoughts on “banging on about feminism

  1. “because he didn’t want to have to look at other men’s penises. Imagine if he was confronted with these images of men daily in and out of his home like women are confronted with these images of other women constantly.”

    OMG…. Sooooo true!!! We are constantly subjected to images of other women’s breasts or buttocks and, when on “cable” or in a movie, their vaginas. We’re expected to tolerate it, not be so sensitive. But when a movie or show comes out that has full frontal of a man, however brief it may be, society and media are in a complete uproar over it and other men freak out that they might actually have to see. We shouldn’t have to see *any* of it!

    “He says I bang on about feminism all the time. And yes, when an issue, situation or imagery arises you bet your bottom dollar I will speak up, other than that I have plenty of other things that fill my heart, mind, soul, life and vocabulary. He say’s you don’t hear him banging on about not believing in climate change, but you can bet your other bottom dollar that when an issue, situation or imagery arises on this subject he will become very vocal. So I am supposed to be silent like a good little girl but he can have his opinions and try and invoke change.”

    Preach it, sister! I think men get upset when we talk about feminist issues because they like things the way they are. Men benefit from the status quo. Do NOT lose your passion or let anyone else tell you to stop speaking up or take your voice from you! Not ever! I was silent for 35 years and I refuse to remain so any longer. If someone truly cares, he will stand up and shout right along with you! It took my husband a long time to understand the depths of my passion. But now he speaks up too and when I write things like “Why I Care” or “The Good Guys” he passes it around to other people. At his office when people start talking about feminist issues, especially pertaining to sexual assault or aggression, he speaks up.

    Point is… DO NOT STOP!!

    Thanks for the ping back, by the way 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Miss Edee, you are such a beautiful inspiration and great support. I really appreciate your feedback, support and advice on this issue. Your recognition of and wisdom on these truths are blessings 🙂

  2. Your articles are amazing, by the way. Very eye-opening. I appreciate your kind words. I also wanted to let you know that if you noticed my little copyright rant I put on my blog on the right side, not to worry. You have my express permission to quote anything from any post you want. I put it there because there’s someone who has WordPress confused with Tumblr and most of her site is full of reblogs, including something of mine. She doesn’t ask permission and she reblogs things that are short enough to be the entire post (ex: photography pages). Everybody else around here is incredibly respectful and your site is along the same vein as most of what I write about, and you’re an excellent writer, to boot, so I don’t mind at all!

    By the way, I temporarily lost my mind and sent a link to a post I wrote called “Why I Care” to the founder of The New Agenda. She liked it enough to put it on her website and asked me to be contributing writer. Twice a month I have an article published. I had one published yesterday about the FBI’s new definition of rape, if you’re interested. Since you’re in Australia, it won’t necessarily be as relevant to you, but you might like it, anyway. The New Agenda is a feminist organization here in the U.S. and is becoming nationally known by media here as the “go-to” on feminist issues. It’s crazy. I only started writing in earnest this summer and set a goal of being on the Huffington Post in the next 5 years. The stuff from TNA gets on HuffPo. We’ll see… The web address is http://www.thenewagenda.net if you’re interested.

    Again, thanks so much for your kind words!

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