Real Men, Real Love, Beautiful relationships

Due to illness and a need for rest on all levels here is some inspiration for women and men who desire a world and relationships based in real love.

“Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for other women because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.”  (Drake)

“We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her – and a man who compliments her. A man who spends money on her – and a man who invests in her. A man who views her as property – and a man who views her properly. A man who lusts after her – and a man who loves her. A man who believes he is God’s gift to women – and a man who remembers a woman was God’s gift to man…And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man.”  (unknown)

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter” (Martin Luther King Jr.)


banging on about feminism

Apparently I would be a beautiful, desirable and loveable woman if I didn’t bang on about feminist stuff. Well as someone said and put on a t-shirt, ‘I’ll be a post feminist in a post patrairchy’.

Eve Ensler said – ”I am over the passivity of good men. Where the h– are you?

You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?”

This is what I am asking right now, where are you?!

On a beautiful post The Good Guys

Miss Edee says in reply to this;

“I understand what she (Eve Ensler) means by this. She’s asking that more men stand up more often on behalf of women. Here’s the thing, though. I know quite a few really amazing men. In fact, there are men I consider to be nice guys, and there is a tiny handful of men in my own life I consider to be “The Good Guys”….. They are highly intelligent, kind, compassionate men who care very deeply about the women in their lives and they care about making the world a better place for not only their wives, sisters, daughters, and nieces, but for all women. These men most definitely are outraged and driven to the brink of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of women. And I can assure you: they are anything but passive.

My most fervent prayer is that every woman has at least one, if not several, men of this caliber in her life. These men, and others like them, do more than support women. Through their actions they teach boys and young men how treat women respectfully, and they set the bar almost impossibly high as far as girls’ expectations in future partners. In a room of one hundred women, the only woman one of these men would ever notice is his wife.”

This is my fervent prayer too, not just for myself but as Miss Edee says for ‘every woman’.

I am a woman too – Ben Lee “It’s here, it’s clear this world can be unfair, there’s always someone being kept down, it’s true, it’s true, cos I’m a woman too, try to shut me up and I’m going to get load, So hear me roar, I will not be ignored.”

Have I suffered sexual abuse from men? Yes. Have I suffered violence at the hands of men? Yes. Have I suffered emotional abuse and oppression from men? Yes. Have I suffered sexism in and out of relationships with men? Yes. Have I been treated as a lesser being by men who state with their words and actions that my opinions, my rights, my sexuality, my body and integrity don’t matter? Yes

I will not suffer silently anymore; I will not allow men who don’t respect me and women in all ways into my life. I will not be in a relationship with a man unless he supports me, honours and respects me, and allows me dignity and integrity in our relationship.

Little bird – Kasey chambers “If I keep my opinion under my breath and I only bring it out when the master says… if I shut my mouth and I don’t make a scene you might come back, but I don’t want you that bad”

I know the man who said this to me in real life, he is following my blog and says he agrees with what on porn culture and wanted to enter into a relationship with me. But in reality he gives no support in his words and actions. He agrees sexually explicit material should not be allowed in the workplace because it is not right or fair to the female employees, but when it comes into his own home in front of the woman he apparently loves and cares about he defends it. No he doesn’t watch porn or have men’s mag’s in his house or life, but soft porn, sexualisation and degrading and humiliating images of women are no longer only in the confines of porn DVD’s and mag’s.

He told me he turned off a DVD is daughters friend brought over called ‘the Serbian’ about a pornographer because he didn’t want to have to look at other men’s privates. Imagine if he was confronted with these images of men daily in and out of his home like women are confronted with these images of other women constantly. I think he would be speaking up too and calling for change in and out of his relationships.

He says I bang on about feminism all the time. And yes, when an issue, situation or imagery arises you bet your bottom dollar I will speak up, other than that I have plenty of other things that fill my heart, mind, soul, life and vocabulary. He says you don’t hear him banging on about not believing in climate change, but you can bet your other bottom dollar that when an issue, situation or imagery arises on this subject he will become very vocal. So I am supposed to be silent like a good little girl but he can have his opinions and try and invoke change.

And if the things I am, or anybody, is speaking up about are causing pain to people, especially those you love, don’t you take positive action or give positive support so that happiness and healing can prevail?

At the end of the day feminism is simple, it’s about respect.