Relationships

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.” – Shana Abé

In an unconscious marriage, you believe that the way to have a good marriage is to pick the right partner. In a conscious marriage you realize you have to be the right partner.” Harville Hendrix

“Don’t marry a rich man. Marry a good man. He will spend his life trying to keep you happy. No rich man can buy that!” – Staness Jonekos

“When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” – Randy Pausch

“Women only nag when they feel unappreciated.” – Louis de Berniéres, Captian Corelli’s Mandolin

‘We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.’ – The Dalai Lama

‘If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing, if you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.’ – Ann Landers

‘Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment… ‘dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love — which is to transform us.’ Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.”
bell hooks

“When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.”
bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions

“Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.”
bell hooks, Communion: The Female Search for Love

“I still think it’s important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society — because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not. ”
bell hooks

‘To live in a culture in which women are routinely naked where men aren’t is to learn inequality in little ways all day long.’ – Naomi Wolf

“Love is an action, never simply a feeling.” ― bell hooks

“None of us, irrespective of our sexual preference and/or practice, imagine that we can have an intimate relationship with a partner and always have seamless harmony. Indeed, most of us assume that once the “honeymoon” period is over differences will emerge and conflicts will happen. Positively, we also assume that we will be “safe“ in those moments; that even if voices are raised and emotions expressed are intense, there will not be and should not be any abuse or any reason to be unsafe, and that the will to connect and communicate will prevail.”
bell hooks, Teaching Critical Thinking: Practical Wisdom

‘It is not enough to simply say that women and men should be equal, but those who believe this should try to make sure that within their relationships there is equality too. This means that women are treated with respect and dignity, that they are not put down, that things are organised so that they get there needs met too.’ – Kate Hughes ‘Every girl’s guide to feminism

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” – Greg Behrendt

“Yes, I decided, a man can truly change. The events of the past year have taught me much about myself, and a few universal truths. I learned, for instance, that while wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it’s often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life, leading me to believe that while I’ve often overestimated what I could accomplish in a day, I had underestimated what I could do in a year. But most of all, I learned that it’s possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there’s been a lifetime of disappointment between them.” – Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding

“To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.” Francois Muriac

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K.Rowling

“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” – Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.- Booth Tarkington

To understand one woman is not necessarily to understand any other woman. – John Stuart Mill

 “Sometimes the one who is running from the Life/Death/Life nature insists on thinking of love as a boon only. Yet love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run with the Wolves

Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness. – Ayn Rand

Don’t you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are. ~Jo Blackwell-Preston

Appreciation and self-love are the most important tools that you could ever nurture. Appreciation of others, and the appreciation of yourself is the closest vibrational match to your Source Energy of anything that we’ve ever witnessed anywhere in the Universe. ~Abraham

Everyone needs to be valued. Everyone has the potential to give something back. ~Princess Diana

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. – Sonya Friedman

Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening. – Emma Thompson

The basic discovery about any people is the discovery of the relationship between its men and its women. – Pearl S. Buck

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her” – Unknown

If I could give you one key, and one key only to a more abundant life, I would give you a sense of your own worth, an unshakeable sense of your own dignity as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part in the unfolding of the story of the world… – Greta Crosby

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. – Henry Miller

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary. – Margaret Cousins

Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are. – Jose Ortega y Gasset

Action expresses priorities. – Mohandas K. Gandhi

Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. – David Augsburger

All intimacy is rare — that’s what makes it precious. And it involves the revelation of one’s self and the loving gaze upon another’s true self (no makeup, no fancy car, no defensive charm, no seduction) — that’s what makes it so damn hard. Intimacy requires honesty and kindness in almost equal measure (a little more kindness, I think), trust and trustworthiness, forgiveness and the capacity to be forgiven . . . It’s more than worth it — just don’t let them tell you it’s bilss. – Amy Bloom

The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom. – bell hooks

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out. – Hafiz of Persia

I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger? – Paul Newman

Love is more than a noun — it is a verb; it is more than a feeling — it is caring, sharing, helping, sacrificing. – William Arthur Ward

Love is like a campfire: It may be sparked quickly, and at first the kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns out quickly. For long lasting, steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time), you must carefully tend the fire. (2007) – Molleen Matsumura

Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they’ve had the same argument hundreds of times. – Gay Hendricks

“Woman’s degradation is in mans idea of his sexual rights. Our religion, laws, customs, are all founded on the belief that woman was made for man.” – Elizabeth Cady Stanton

There is an energy field between humans. And, when we reach out in passion, it is met with an answering passion and changes the relationship forever. – Rollo May

Ethical Humanism is primarily an attitude about human beings, their worth, and the significance of their lives. It is concerned with the nature and quality of living; the character and creativity of our relationships. Because of this concern, humanism spontaneously flowers into a spiritual movement in its own right. – Edward Ericson

It’s important to remember that feminism is no longer a group of organizations or leaders. It’s the expectations that parents have for their daughters, and their sons, too. It’s the way we talk about and treat one another. – Anna Quindlen

Living with integrity means:

  • Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships.
  • Asking for what you want and need from others.
  • Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension.
  • Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values.
  • Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe. – Barbara De Angeli

Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’ Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’ Vanity asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’ But, conscience asks the question, ‘Is it right?’ And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because one’s conscience tells one that it is right. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

It doesn’t matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn’t matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years — we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on. – Sharon Salzberg

You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful. – Marie Curie

The family unit plays a critical role in our society and in the training of the generation to come.” —Sandra Day O’Connor

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world — that is the myth of the atomic age — as in being able to remake ourselves. – Mohandas K. Gandhi

‘Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.’ – Mother Theresa

 ‘Two persons love in one another the future good which they aid one another to unfold.’ – Charlotte Perkins Gilman

‘If you deceive someone, you lose one of life’s greatest treasures, you lose the capacity to trust. Because without trust, love is not possible.’ – Osho

‘To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead’ – Bertrand Russell, Marriage and morals 1929

‘Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.’ Albert Einstein

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